Coupled With Christ Ministry

 

Helping husbands and wives learn to do marriage God’s way.  Brother Michael and Sister Theresa McCabe will lead you through what the Bible has to say about marriage and how to do marriage God’s way.

 

   As a society, we have lost our way when it comes to marriage. I believe our culture—Christian culture and American culture—needs to understand better why God created marriage. God makes these purposes clear in Genesis 1.

  “Let us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, the birds of the air, the cattle, over all the earth and over all the creeping things that creep on the earth.” So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. Then God blessed them, and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it; have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over every living thing that moves on the earth.” (Genesis 1:26-28)

These verses show us God’s four purposes of marriage.

1. To replicate God’s nature and image on the earth.

2. To extend God’s Kingdom authority on the earth.

3. To generationally perpetuate the nature of God and the values of His Kingdom.

4. To multiply God’s human family with righteous offspring.

All of these four reasons reveal why we must fight for this institution that God loves. Marriage is not just another relationship, but a key part of God’s plan. It is the foundation of society and a holy institution that reflects our Creator.

 
 
Couples Corner
 
 

March 2022

Humility In Marriage!!

C. S. Lewis once said, “Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it’s thinking of yourself less.” My friends, you’re most powerful when you’re remarkably humble. The more that couples fight for control, the more they’ll lose themselves to pride in the process. Pride manifests in many ways, but ultimately, it shifts blame. No matter what, a self-centered person sees others as the problem. Rarely making concessions for their spouse, they avoid accountability for their actions. If your behavior towards your spouse is perceived by them as manipulative or domineering, they may retreat into themselves as a protective measure. In which case, their assumed despondence may provoke an extrovert who tries to force a response in a situation. As they intensify the conversation, the other person is internally running further and further away to escape both the confrontation and their spouse.
If you want your spouse’s full participation, you must create a safe space to communicate your hopes, concerns, and desires. This is the best way to begin the process of facilitating unity. Set aside time to hear each other out. This is especially important during transitional moments. Pause to explore what’s really going on. Upon hearing one another’s answers, couples can grow stronger without losing their goals.
Absorbing this, why would you set a time to hear someone whom you consider inferior in understanding? If you perceive them to be incompetent, why seek their input? This is where humility kicks into high gear. You aren’t greater than them. It shouldn’t be a competition to win a point. The moment this happens, they lose. Which means the relationship is losing. And you aren’t learning much when you’re the one who’s always talking.
You’ll know that you’re walking in humility when you put the needs of your spouse above your own. When you’ve had a hard day’s work, are craving a remote in your hand, and want nothing more than to be laid out on the couch with the TV on, but realize your wife has had a hard day, you humble yourself. Run her bath water, put the kids to bed, and make sure that she gets the night off. Humility is on full display when she recognizes that he’s a little rusty on his romance game. Still, it’s been a while since they’ve been sexually intimate. He walks into the bedroom and to his surprise…oh yes, humility.
Couples who walk the path of humility honor one another’s strengths, but also share their weaknesses. They don’t have to have it together all twenty-four-hours of the day. She’s able to admit that she gets it wrong sometimes. He can ask forgiveness for forgetting to pay the bill and is willing to admit that the late fee is his fault. The need to be chronically correct has been put in check. They carry themselves with an open-minded attitude. They ask their spouse questions like, “What do you think we should do about little Billy’s bad attitude at school?” Or, “These interest rates are super low, I think right now is the time to buy. Can we pray about the next step?” There’s a level of satisfaction and contentment acquired only through the path of humility. Healthy couples are mature enough to see that it’s not just about me, but it’s about we.

 

April 2022

The Power of Words

 

Communication in marriage is a lifeline of information, conflict resolution and affection. To be able to communicate effectively, you must understand the disproportionate power of words.

Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit. (Proverbs 18:21)

In relationships, words are tremendously powerful for good or bad. In every good relationship, there is an exchange of many positive words. These words act as seeds that create a powerful and disproportionate harvest. The same is true in bad relationships. In every bitter or unsatisfactory marriage, there are either few words exchanged (few seeds planted) or there are negative words exchanged (bad seeds planted).

Literally, the power of life or death for any relationship is in your mouth. You possess an incredible ability to give life or death, encouragement or discouragement, truth or deception, praise or criticism, hurt or help to those around you.

To understand this issue fully, you must first recognize how your own family history and the culture around you can shape the way you communicate. We live in a smart-aleck, sarcastic, and immoral culture. Words are thrown around as if they don’t matter, and people are treated as though they had little worth. Just watch a little television and you’ll get my point.

Also, if you are from a verbally abusive family or have lived in a negative verbal environment, you will have the tendency to follow that pattern of behavior. It is important to realize the unhealthy manner in which those around you communicate and to refuse to follow suit. If you will notice, you can see that those who are impure, ungodly, or negative in their speech do not have good 

relationships.

Words are like seeds. If you don’t like the harvest in your marriage, there is good news: you can change seeds and the harvest will change. You have power. You aren’t helpless and you aren’t a victim. You have the power of death and life in your tongue. Unleash that power toward your spouse in a positive manner and you will see the truth of what the Bible says.

Talk it out 

Ask each other these questions, and answer honestly (but kindly!).

  • Do I communicate with you enough?
  • Do I communicate praise and appreciation to you enough?
  • Have I spoken negative or hurtful words that I need to apologize for?

Walk it out 

Write down several positive, affirming things you would like to say to your spouse. Putting them down on paper first helps you select just the right words. Exchange papers on an agreed upon day. 

XO Marriage 3/15/22

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