Coupled With Christ Ministry
Helping husbands and wives learn to do marriage God’s way. Brother Michael and Sister Theresa McCabe will lead you through what the Bible has to say about marriage and how to do marriage God’s way.
As a society, we have lost our way when it comes to marriage. I believe our culture—Christian culture and American culture—needs to understand better why God created marriage. God makes these purposes clear in Genesis 1.
“Let us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, the birds of the air, the cattle, over all the earth and over all the creeping things that creep on the earth.” So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. Then God blessed them, and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it; have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over every living thing that moves on the earth.” (Genesis 1:26-28)
These verses show us God’s four purposes of marriage.
1. To replicate God’s nature and image on the earth.
2. To extend God’s Kingdom authority on the earth.
3. To generationally perpetuate the nature of God and the values of His Kingdom.
4. To multiply God’s human family with righteous offspring.
All of these four reasons reveal why we must fight for this institution that God loves. Marriage is not just another relationship, but a key part of God’s plan. It is the foundation of society and a holy institution that reflects our Creator.
I know there are other fathers out there who have had similar exper-iences with their daughters, who have through the years had the pleasure of watching their daughters grow up into young women, and even in some cases get married. As fathers we might find it difficult to be replaced by some new man in our daughter’ life. In fact, that is most likely what was going through your father-in-law’s mind when he had to put up with you.
So, I am going to let you in on a little secret that took me years to learn and understand. You see, the lovely lady that became your wife, no matter how confident and self-assured she appears to be on the outside, still has that little girl looking for approval on the inside. The only thing is she is not looking to her daddy for approval, she is looking to you. Wo when she spends the time getting ready to go out with you and your only comment when she comes our is, “About time you got finished; we are going to be late?”, you just crushed her spirit. Look at it from her point of view; she just spend maybe an hour or more fixing her hair, her makeup, her nails, picking out the right outfit, shoes selecting the right perfume to wear – all to make an impression on you. She wanted you to say how beautiful she looked, just like the little girl and her father.
One of our jobs as husbands is to edify our wives, to build them up, to make them secure in who they are and wheat they are doing. So the next time your wife takes the time to make herself beautiful for you, try saying something nice. You look fine; of course, you looked fine in the other five outfits you put on doesn’t work. Here are some suggestions. Wow! You look magnificent: Now I remember why I married you! Where are we going and who am I supposed to be sharing you with?If this is too much work for you, don’t be surprised when your wife stops trying!
The Power of Words
Communication in marriage is a lifeline of information, conflict resolution and affection. To be able to communicate effectively, you must understand the disproportionate power of words.
Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit. (Proverbs 18:21)
In relationships, words are tremendously powerful for good or bad. In every good relationship, there is an exchange of many positive words. These words act as seeds that create a powerful and disproportionate harvest. The same is true in bad relationships. In every bitter or unsatisfactory marriage, there are either few words exchanged (few seeds planted) or there are negative words exchanged (bad seeds planted).
Literally, the power of life or death for any relationship is in your mouth. You possess an incredible ability to give life or death, encouragement or discouragement, truth or deception, praise or criticism, hurt or help to those around you.
To understand this issue fully, you must first recognize how your own family history and the culture around you can shape the way you communicate. We live in a smart-aleck, sarcastic, and immoral culture. Words are thrown around as if they don’t matter, and people are treated as though they had little worth. Just watch a little television and you’ll get my point.
Also, if you are from a verbally abusive family or have lived in a negative verbal environment, you will have the tendency to follow that pattern of behavior. It is important to realize the unhealthy manner in which those around you communicate and to refuse to follow suit. If you will notice, you can see that those who are impure, ungodly, or negative in their speech do not have good
relationships.
Words are like seeds. If you don’t like the harvest in your marriage, there is good news: you can change seeds and the harvest will change. You have power. You aren’t helpless and you aren’t a victim. You have the power of death and life in your tongue. Unleash that power toward your spouse in a positive manner and you will see the truth of what the Bible says.
Talk it out
Ask each other these questions, and answer honestly (but kindly!).
- Do I communicate with you enough?
- Do I communicate praise and appreciation to you enough?
- Have I spoken negative or hurtful words that I need to apologize for?
Walk it out
Write down several positive, affirming things you would like to say to your spouse. Putting them down on paper first helps you select just the right words. Exchange papers on an agreed upon day.
XO Marriage 3/15/22